Mag-Neat-O
Building bridges, one super-powered metallic object at a time
Why is it that whenever someone gets a cool superpower, bad intentions are always the first to crop up? The age-old question of "what would you do if you had powers for a day" is almost always answered with dreams of bank robbery, peeping tomfoolery or other mischievous deeds. Take Magneto from the X-Men universe, for example. This powerful mutant uses his abilities over metal to terrorize mankind. A man who could build bridges opts instead to crush them.
But what if, in another place and time, ol' Mags got over his anti-humanism and decided to use his metalsmithing for good? Can you imagine how much mundane mayhem could be resolved if only you could manipulate metallic objects with the wiggle of your nose? We sure can!
Behold the result: five jobs perfectly suited for a saintly Master of Magnetism.
Architect: A tad obvious, yes, but sometimes the simplest answers are the best ones. Imagine the fantastic structures you could build if only you could weld metal with the blink of an eye. Not only would you build the most secure bridges known to man, but their aesthetic creativity would be limited only by your imagination. Maybe you'd stifle the economy a bit since you wouldn't need a full-on construction team, but lord knows that a firmly built skyscraper is worth a spike in the unemployment rate.
Oral Surgeon: Nobody likes the dentist - they make your gums bleed, smell like latex and inject you with Novocain that prevents you from eating for hours. But if Magneto spent seven years in medical school as opposed to bombing high value targets, the dentist could be a much friendlier experience. Fillings would go in with unparalleled accuracy, braces could be laid on with ease and teeth-cleaning utensils could be manipulated with mathematical precision. Plus, Dr. Magneto has a certain ring to it!
Traffic Cop: There is a villain worse than the dentist and Magneto combined - traffic. If only a heroic Magneto really did exist. Think about how much better the traffic situation would be: a magnetically-charged traffic cop in the middle of the worst jam you can envision, sending cars sailing through the air like seagulls in the sky and landing them oh-so gingerly further up the road. Bah, who are we kidding-traffic's never going to get better! There are some evils that even superheroes can't battle.
Jeweler: Struggling on ideas of what to buy your significant other for Valentine's Day? Your wife has all the jewelry she needs but wants something more? No worries: just call up the matchmaking Magneto. He'sll rig up the finest, most insanely unique jewelry that'll put the rest of your honey's collection to shame. Like the architect, Mr. Lensherr's powers are as vast as his own creativity. With the twitch of an eyebrow, he'll have the perfect pair of earrings and matching necklace that'll make even the girl who has everything swoon.
Musician: Step aside, Joe Satriani, there's a new guitar maestro in town. Put a Les Paul in Magneto's grip and you'll hear the most face-meltingly awesome sonic booms known to music lovers around the world. Think about all the metal instruments that Magneto could manipulate at once: a full brass section, heavy strings, even drums. It would be the greatest one-man performance in the history of mankind. That, or it would be a cacophony of pure, unadulterated madness. One or the other.